For my dog. Not for me. I mean, I’ve had major abdominal surgery, which produced a lovely human baby and the knowledge, per my husband, who observed the whole thing, that I “have a lot of fat in there”. Whatever. This isn’t about me, this is about our puppy, who recently had the ability to make babies taken away from her by major abdominal surgery. Here are the differences between us:
1) Dog is told to rest. Dog spends one day recuperating, and the rest of the days sailing of couches, beds, and chairs like she is auditioning for Swan Lake. Humans spend the weeks before the removal of switches ineffectively trying to get Dog to relax. Dog gets so bored she starts playing fetch with herself and walking on hind legs while waving her front paws around.
2) Human is told to rest. Human spends two weeks lying in bed and worrying that she will never walk again because abdominal muscles apparently do a lot of things that humans do not appreciate until they have had them separated.